Well it looked like a Dalliard-esque three-way in the Albion wards between the Jessica Legges Party, the Three Wheeled Independence League and the Probate Alliance. It was tense, but Tony has come off the scrape with a majority of 61.

In the Dimblebees clash, ITV won out for a bit simply because they were getting the votes in quicker, though that meant Alistair Stewart and a riot of computer-generated simulation. Important developments in Hornsey and Bethnal were kept off the screens by instant micro-analysis, so neither result was live and exaspo-fatigue set in about 3am, with Labour needing about 60 more votes.

Meanwhile, certain aspects of the BBC’s coverage resembled a cross between Crackerjack and Children In Need, Natashore Kap-linsky interviewing an unfunny John Culshaw first as Blair, then Bush. Teams of young voters in Newcastle spray painted a giant map of the UK, with the winning colours for each constituency. Shirley Williams exclaimed “I got it, it’s in my bloody bag” to Charlie Falconer. BBC transposed speeches over one another, so it felt like a masterclass in TV mixing.

There were liberal-from-labour swings reflecting Iraq disgust in the metropolitan wings of Hornsey & Wood Green, Leeds North West, Withington-Manchester and Bristol West, albeit only a few hundred votes making the difference in Withington. Elsewhere, Labour lost out to independent candidates (Blaenau Gwent, Bethnal). Constructive opposition should improve when they return to the Westminster bubble.

The litmus paper turned blue in the yuppie incubation corners of Putney, Wimbledon and Hammersmith. In areas of cullaz’ youth, Howarth was returned more votes in Aldershot (Arthur Pendragon did not stand this time), as did the new candihate in Surrey South West. And the bluescum also retook Guildford. Thanks for those.

Both channels made out how Blair was much more sombre and sober in his acceptance speech at Sedgefield. Ummm. Blair has never done contrite very well and initially looked as he was struggling to stop himself laughing. That said the speech turned out to be ok, served with soupcons dignity and reassurance.

Polly Toynbee a few days before the election said this is the “most redistributive Lab govt” in her lifetime; that’s because it was the first to serve consecutive terms. Main problem is that the redistributive policies (minimum wage, ‘Sure’ Start, low interest rates on mortgages, pensioner poverty, increased public sector investment) have been spread too thinly over eight years and, in the case of public sector investment, positive policies have been diluted by dogmatic adherence to free market principles while misleading the public with the beguiling commitment to ‘what works’.

Even though Labour have allowed private healthcare companies to take increasing amounts of public money and assets through the NHS, train operating companies, transfer of council housing stock and local education authorities, it is still the case that more public money will go on the public provision of public services than would have done under the Tories.