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Fawning WTC letter to Parliament

"Dear Sir, I would like to thank you for all the support you gave the people of America during the terrible time on September 11th 2001, it was very kind of you to help them in their time of trouble and the way you supported President Bush. It would be very good if we could all live together in peace and were not treated badly by tramps on the streets. I am very pleased with you all and would be grateful if you could send me a photograph of you all.

Thank you. Yours sincerely…"


The US Centre for Global Coercion and Doing Things The Just Way is expanding into Europe and is seeking prominent statesman to do as we say and promote our core values in a variety of expanding arenas. Currently, we have a very compliant UK branch manager, but our presence on the mainland needs ratcheting up.

Key tasks include:

        Visiting regional hotspots to speak on behalf of Washington

        Forgetting all your nation’s historic values as you speak from an approved crib sheet

        Providing suitable military presence where necessary as we don’t mind bullying, but we don’t like bodybags of Yanks

        Intelligence gathering on suspected terrorists, which we’re as likely to ignore if we’re not utterly convinced of its veritability

Apply to George Bush’s Surrogate Brain, The Republican Think-Tank, Capitol Hill, Washington DC: in fact, don’t bother, we’ll come over and persuade you of the fundamental goodness of our cause.

The September Totem

Any chance of a rethink on US policy? No, we have the WTC atrocity now

September the 11th. September 11th. September 11. There is assonance in this sainted date, and it has never carried a significance before, apart from when in the early 1970s the US-backed military junta overthrew the democratically elected government in Chile (sshh).

And nevermind the fact that 11 September is the correct journalistic way to do the date (only ‘Newsnight’ seems to recognise this). Or indeed that less than 20% of Muslims worldwide believe followers of the faith were responsible (Mossad/FBI in bed again?). Or that the Twin Towers were a provocative symbol of the most godless creed ever created by man — mature capitalism — and as such were likely to be subject to iconoclastic reprisals at some stage — especially if half-clever terrorists can exploit the US’ pisspoor domestic security network and ignorance of intelligence. WhoreCull would have preferred September 7, as it flows a bit better.

Because what we have got now is a totem pole, something on which we can pin all the problems of the world past, present and future to, justify the massive increase in military spend, the missile defence programme, the Middle East power order (an Israel for which we have lost all post-Holocaust sympathy; the Fahds in Saudi), an ongoing presence in Afghanistan (well, they can’t be trusted to sort out their own mess) and the GENERAL SUBJUGATION OF PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE to the wiles, will and principles of America, which comes down to the primacy of the dollar over any things as secondary as faith, belief, etc.

So the September 7 totem has been raised, but some things aren’t on the pole. Of course not. Don’t stop to think that if a group of men are prepared to commit to the most apocalyptic incident ever, then they may have relevant grievances. Or indeed don’t consider how quickly Washington homed in on the suspects; seems that we might have had a lot of information from reliable sources that we’ve ignored over the last decade (chief among them being crucial information from Sudan on Bin Laden and co that was glossed over), but now that we have the facts thrown in our faces can easily dig out and apply with all the sophistication of a pritt-stick. And please don’t ask why the World’s Most Powerful Leader Dubya Bush did a runner on that fated day; he was running scared, running a drugs errand for Jeb’s wife, running with Enron, running through a list of world leaders and forgetting their names (Musharraf? "Will ‘the Pakistani leader’ do"). No, the pretzel-misplacer was pensive — deep in thought of how to resolve this mess. Ignore this because, for example, look at the success of the campaign in Afghanistan. Hang on. It’s far from over yet? Ignore this, and the dissenters of our own — the subsequent Anthrax scares, that true talib John Walker Lind, the micrcoplane WTC-imitator smashing into a Bank Of America branch, child playground revolverands, etc, etc - that can see how fucked up our united facade is.

Don’t ever question the wisdom of our system, in fact Noam Chomsky and the apostate, anti-patriotic, hypocrite academic left have a go, because look how we’ll close down your network of free speech. We are Americans. We are White. Some of us are Christians. Our forefathers had totems of their own, such as Land of The Free, and they sound fairly convincing. We are Americans. We are right. We managed to tell our own Zionists not go to work in the WTC that day. And we’ll endorse endless more rounds of terror, destruction and death on other peoples because of elevenninezeroone.

    Right homos