Essex fat lip twat
Tinned plum tomatoes
Rhubarb & Crumble
latest advert for Ford cars which is so confident of its material
worthiness and the worthiness of materialism that it can't even
be bothered to dress it in the usual irony. trendy couple come on
to James Brown music in their trendy car. Cunt gets out to leave
for plane. Cunt says to YP amoeba "when I get back you'll marry
me right". Ooh the nerve. But sure sure Peter sure. Affirmadive
Doritos for the deity of mass-produced crisps. Absolutely terrible
pun (yes, worse than those above or below) that is the young professional
orgy for Doritos Chips ending in the catchphrase - "Friend-chips".
penis, respect, father-in-law," the dad from the black nuclear
family was left pondering at the end of a patronising BT ad. Nothing
wrong with a bit of stereotyping, apparently
advert for a Citroen Xsara that laughably has some Jarre lowbrow
techno wank-fest like Equinox 4 to display its futuricity
another alternative comedian in adverts? "Erm, "MoneyyesPlease".
Jonny Vegas is the monkey. Or is that the point. But he admitted
to the crowd that he had sold out. It's long time to give up on
any expectation that your favourite comedian or actor WON'T take
the advertisement dollar. Soon, WhoreCull will be sponsored by Burger
King, Pepsi and Microsoft. We might get it done sooner
ITV advert for their own programmes
West Ham fan gets the woman, but we also see a ridiculous Paolo
DI Canio animated figurine fronting an advert for PhysioSport toiletries
Hut's latest slogan (swap your Ds for Ts) - Grade food, Grade times.
And now Ricky Gervais with the voiceover
Dandy Warhols. "We're Winning", but also "we're groovy".
No, you're cunts
a decade after the arrival of Loaded-style laddism, why are certain
sections still trying to prove what blokes they are?
this constant drive to "lad up" in the media, especially
on BBC Sport recently? Trying to get closer to the nature of footballers
and FHM-culture? Recently,
we had real lad Hazel Irvine calling her commentators "Sharpy"
for Greame Sharpe and adopting "Lawro" for the above-pictured
Watching 'Stubbsy', as I'm sure he'd love to be called, down at
Lakeside Darts was pure comedy. Lowbrow Ray was egging on the monobrowed
crowd, all of the while to a predictable white-boy indie-rock soundtrack,
and clearly loving every minute of it. Then there was the hilarious
end scene, incorporating excruciating closing-time metaphor, with
Bobby 'Dazzler' George. I'm sure it all harked back to imagined
days in unfashionable "down-to-earth" Liverpool pubs where
the talk is of constantly "fancy a wager", "get your
round in" and other authentic elements of homosociety. The
only things that let this act down with Whore Cull favourite Lawro
are Stubbs's inability to put a Ralph Lauren shirt on (it's all
ruffled at the front, as though he can't pull it over the back)
and the way his arms and hands rest on his knees or BBC table like
a cat's paws; most un-lad-like. In fact, Stubbsy, stop trying to
gain extra leverage by playing the "man of the people"
vote. Or "Beebsy", get a proper anchorman.
they should be doing is concentrating on the quality behind the
lad nicknames - it's kid in the playground (or the "pub"
as it's called) amateurish stuff. "Crooksy" and others
are really quite bad presenters and should not be on mainstream
TV. Perhaps there's too many ex-footballers in the media now in
general, there has to be to cope with the massive increase in coverage
in these satellite-led times. It's a case of "I wouldn't attempt
to tell you how to be a footballer", so don't think you can
do the reciprocate. James Richardson is probably a shit footballer
but he is passionate about his sport and medium and is a good presenter
(unlike his Partridge clone brother on the other side).
I was at Bayern" - yes Alan McNally you've told us that several
times now. When are we going to have some real analysis rather than
excerpts from the Book Of Clichés (Lad editon)?
a baser level, the whole tone of Happiness, Paul Whitehouse's
BBC2 sitcom broadcast earlier this year, is overtly laidback, and
clearly serving as a large indicator of the Whitehouse psyche, trying
to fit in at 40. If I'm doing that, then please kill me.
It's pathetic how the 'eccentric' group of voiceover-puppet/professional
couple expecting kid/northern alcoholic/scottish rocker cokehead
are portrayed as the different and 'cooler' thirty and forty-somethings,
thus they must be somehow be dealing with the rigmaroles of middle
age/settling down/cock options/ in a much cooler way than the nameless
millions who instinctively see such a struggle as futile. I'm absolutely
bored with fashion, brands, labels and the rest of it already. "hey
come and talk to us, we're the alternative group in the north London
pub (it's always a north London pub). Look at the angle we're leaning
on our chair, for example".
were watching this because they will watch anything.
or maybe just appetite, for object of desire absolutely intrinsic
programme and mythical emotion. The only thing willingly encouraged
by the shystem, and the only emotional experience most people interpret
as happiness is an occasional enchantment with multifarious trinkets
that adorn the good ship capitalism - clothes, furniture, private
property, smellyvision. The rest of the time people are vocational
automatons carrying out a prescribed function while running rings
around themselves through the pursuit of hollow materials that provide
a fix. Does that crapitalism shystem depend on addiction in various
forms to successfully survive?
course it does.