Back to front
Updated 5/12/03

Never ones to flinch from culling whores under the lazy pretext of political correctness, WhoreCull is proud to disparage these fuckwits. This north London crew (woman excepted) led a suburban terror campaign. Not by taking Mr and Mrs Fairweather's Daily Mail from the paper boy every morning, but by storming in to their house to jib as much as they could in one short-sharp-shocking blitz. Then they'd bling it up in a retro style in shots like these, which of course shows that movies have absolutely no effect on the yoof at all. Honest. Amazingly the Met did actually manage to arrest them, and they're in prison. At a time when Dizzee Rascal gets stabbed in Napa because he's east-side and talented, we can only emphasise that this shit is degenerate and probably the only places there are more 'tonz of gunz' right now are Jamaica, LA and Baghdad. © Haringey Independent - a paper in itself not to be trusted with its skewing of Haringey Borough crime so that everything seems to happen in 'Wood Green' and 'Tottenham'. Such media-led ghettoisation is part of this process too... As Chuck D suggests: "That [American] influence can come from the media. And entertainment rides media quite well. How it comes through that strainer, that interpretation can be very influential to the people that don't have a sense of themselves". Indeed he says corporatised (ie, profitised) TV, film and other media have "kind of reduced the streets, or street cred, to be something that is automatically indigenous to black culture".

Cocktails, cash, cunts and joke cuisine. Surely only eclipsed by that obsolete Evans piss on Channel 4, or the neon neuralgia of 'diners'. The discerning blind diner, whether in out-of-town retail park or city centre location, is regularly tempted by freshly wanked chicken and immigrant stroganoff. Oh yes, and if you work in one of these inflated shitholes, get plucking them pubes

How many different shops? Starfucks, Costa Coffee, Caffé Nero, Manhattan's, Coffee Republic, I mean I could go on. And how many different ways can you drink coffee? It's a drink with a drug in it, not a fucking 'experience'. These ridiculous brands, like the Seattle specialists above, are the new breed of Corporate Shamanism, making a biological function into a socio-cultural status symbol. "Yah, I'll take a mocha. Oh look, it's gone up to £3." And why is cold coffee more expensive than hot?

It's almost too obvious to highlight this lovely multinational. Franchised 'restaurants' promote hilarious health and safety ignorance; ruthless exploitation of anyone under 12 to walk around waving flags with their odious logo; no nutritional value, so it's not really that cheap when you're hungry 10 minutes later; and great working conditions. Oh yes, they're a good example of how the laughable minimum wage level can make pernicious corporations look like benevolent employers by setting basic wage rates just above the sell-out specialists' rate

It's so fucking easy to set up pokey little enclaves for right-wing aryan immigrants (so they're alright then Jack?). Nice use of 'abo' culture to promote a comfortable corporate drinking climate for our Aussie, Kiwi and Bok open-minded experts

Asinine assimilators

Our correspondent grimaced at the thought of entering this 'flash bar'

All hail Peter Sutcliffe

Well, should you???

Anti-sports utility vehicle (SUV) features have become legion in most right-thinking broadsheets and periodicals but their continued popularity makes them still ripe for a culling. These big, brash hydrocarbon guzzlers are a classic example of me-first capitalism. It was the Clinton administration that said "hey we can make an exception and ignore their ridiculous levels of energy consumption". Owner/driver associations have been formed in America to promote their cause. Even 'Stupid White Men' Michael Moore admits to being in love with his big fuck-off wagon. And we Brits, who supposedly hate that big and brash American nature, have fallen for them like the weak suckers we always are. UK buyers have been known to offer feeble justification about their country roads, when the more likely use is the 5-minute schoolrun, so the little darlings can be educated somewhere nice without ethnic interference

Supermarket prices for a can of coke are twice as cheap as their Moto, Welcome Break and other bent motorway service station counterparts. That's if they're actually offering the can rather than the 500ml plastic rip-off. A French drivers' union is planning to boycott certain chains on the mainland. Wandering around in sheer boredom in the A50 Moto in the East Midlands the other week, I saw some promotional guff trying to justify the ridiculous price hikes, transportation costs being one of the main reasons. Every shop has to pay for them you fucksticks. Bring your own sarnis and parade the sweaty, greasy cheese around for those who have just paid £3 for theirs. Service stations — do a decent top rack but that's all they're good for.

Fifty pounds a month for assuaging anatomical guilt in one of these superannuated leisure centres. Go down the public sports centre, oh you can't be bothered to find it can you? Muscular narcissists who sob at the damage they've done to their bodies when they're pissed/chatting by the water cooler at 10:30am Monday-Friday

"Mom, I'm really bored, we've been walking round Leicester Square for like totally ages." Aberdeen Angus proffer their euro allegiance and meat more like the arse piece of an Aberdeen Angus and huge Yank portions to make them feel at home and remind everyone else of our "special" relationship with the 'States'. As special as the relationship between a paedophiliac uncle and his nephew

Asinine assimilators

One of the worst culprits of the lot

All aboard the open-top London tour bus

Look what our many tourist buses can offer:

        Increased city centre polution

        Permanent gridlock, as unregulated industry=loads of half-empty open-tops toe-to-tail

        Destruction of view for all but wealthy tourists

        Tapes in other languages that got 'mislaid'

        Distinctly unfriendly 'fortress mentality' staff

Price: £33 an hour.
Enjoy the ride

Click HERE to mail us your nominations for CORPORATE WHORE